Spiritual but not Religious

Photo by John Lynner Peterson

Some reports have indicated that Spiritual but not Religious (SBNR) is the fastest growing faith group in the U.S. The fact that the Pew Forum now lists Spiritual but not Religious as a faith choice says much about the segment of our population that want to be identified as people of faith but don’t express their faith within the confines of a church or organized religious group.

How do you define spirituality—especially in contrast to religion? For me, spirituality is the transcendent connection to God (fill in your Higher Power) that lifts me beyond my skin, bones and brain existence here on earth. How have I experienced this transcendence? Through music most frequently, but also through relationship with another that is so intimate you know that your souls have touched, through reading that forces me to move past my intellect and even past my emotions. And, yes, I have experienced spirituality through sex with my beloved.

Religion by contrast has taught me theology, doctrinal beliefs and love of certain institutions. Religion has taught me a great deal that I have discarded, i.e., belief in the literal virgin birth, literal resurrection and literal interpretation of the Bible. Religion has also taught me transcendent metaphors that still mean much to me, i.e., communion and the symbolism of the table, the bread and the wine. I have distaste for the meaning of such words as resurrection, redemption, salvation, heaven and hell as taught in my religion and yet, I want to reclaim these very words for the spirituality that fits me now. If you wash the literalism from these words, they can be used effectively to describe transcendence that I know to be real from my own experience.

So what does this mean for our nation? For Christianity? For our churches? One result that some of the surveys and articles point out is that people are attending a variety of churches rather than committing to one. Obviously, this behavior adds to the precipitous decline in membership being reported by all denominations of Christianity because many who would describe themselves as SBNR just stay home from church.

Perhaps you have heard sermons in which SBNR has been disparaged from the pulpit. Of course you have, because SBNR persons do not fund budgets which pay the light bill, the pastor’s salary and insure the institution is perpetuated. What would these preachers say we are giving up by not being religious? One argument they might make would be the loss of community if you practice your spirituality only in isolation. I agree with this line of reasoning and must admit this is why I am still a member of a congregation. The community I have found in churches has raised me, sustained me and comforted me through the highs and lows of my life. I am who I am because of church communities.

Another argument might be that we enact social justice as a faith community not as individuals. I’ll let you make your own case for or against that claim. I would also make the case for church being the place where I most frequently access God/spirituality through music. It is not the only place I can or have experienced God through music but it certainly has provided the most frequent access. What are other reasons you or your minister offer for why we need to stay religious?

Are you spiritual but not religious? Do you still attend church? Why? Why not?

Books that Change my Life: "The Secret Life of Bees" by Sue Monk Kidd

I fully support the concept that God did not stop speaking the minute the New Testament was finished. God still speaks to us in numerous ways and we ignore those messages at our own disservice.

God spoke to me in The Secret Life of Bees. Sue Monk Kidd’s writing spiritually stirs my mind and my heart. Many years before the publication of this novel, I read When the Heart Waits, Kidd’s non-fiction, personal story of coming out of the pit of spiritual death and re-awakening to a new authentic self. My readers know I have been studying the work of Brene’ Brown about living authentically. Kidd was on to this route decades earlier and described her awakening as the task to “dismantle old masks and patterns and unfold a deeper, more authentic self.” 

This process of “becoming real” continues with The Secret Life of Bees. One myth-buster that shouts loud and clear from the pages of this, her first, novel is that God is an old white male. The African-American women of the novel gather around a Black Madonna who nourishes their life and circumstances. Lily, the young girl at the center of the story runs away from an abusive father and rampant racism. She is less aware that she is running toward a mother-figure(s) to replace the mother she lost and an unconditional love that engenders her ability to forgive and give love.

There’s one metaphor that plays a significant role in the book that I have used in spiritual workshops. One of the three African-American sisters has emotional difficulties that seem to suggest she is a Christ-figure. She takes on all the burdens of the world, to such an extent, she can’t function unless she writes the burden down and puts the piece of paper in a crack in a wall—essentially her wailing wall. How much better off would we all be if we could adopt this metaphor and detach from life’s problems after turning them over to whatever source of love you are able to claim.

Authenticity of Kidd’s own spiritual journey shouts from the pages of this transformative book. Experiencing the journey along with her cannot be accomplished by attending this movie. Run to the library or bookstore to give yourself this treat.